dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
