My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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