so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
