i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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