so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize