Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
