Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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