i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
