he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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