all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
