I'm so fucking centered right now
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
