can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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