You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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