I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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