I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
