We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
