We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
