i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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