I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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