I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
