Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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