Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
