I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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