; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
