NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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