she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize