THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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