if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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