Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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