last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
