Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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