I just threw up on my dentist
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
