my being single is dangerous.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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