Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
