sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
