I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
