Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
