he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
