so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
