I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just tell him i said nine months
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
