Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
