Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
