Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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