i was born a porn star she said
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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