Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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