the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
