The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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