You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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