how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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