why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
