I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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