How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm both gender and math confused
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
