How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
