Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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