Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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