if only i could text you this smell
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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