I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
