just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
