Non-Jews are for practice
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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