NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
