She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
