Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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